My mum has 6 children all still living. 4 of us participate in her life, 2 of those from afar. The bulk of her care coming from my sister and myself, as we are geographically close. I am struggling to find a way to forgive the 2 that don't participate in her life. My brothers. For many years now they have not telephoned her once just to see how she's doing. My mum is not the easiest person, it's true...but IF they had made this one small effort throughout these last few years...a call every month or so...what a difference it would have made to her. I believe she would have a different attitude and be healthier.
It is so sad for me to picture my 90 year old mum sitting quietly by herself and thinking about this. and I know she has.
What mum wouldn't? It has turned her bitter towards them, but I think that is just a natural defense mechanism as the years rolled on and she became more accustomed to their absence of caring about her life. They sometimes would see her once a year at Xmas but even that has died, as my brother in Illinois refused to take a day off work to come for his yearly sighting. I find myself so angry with them. It feels so unfair to her. I know it does me no good to dwell on this and feel these feelings, I know I'm only hurting myself. In writing this, I am hoping to reveal to myself a way to let this go. My sister and I have talked about it. I've discussed it with friends. I still feel these feelings of bitterness and resentment towards them, regarding this issue. It's safe to say that apart from this, I genuinely love my brothers and have had good relations and humor with them. What makes people do (or not do) the things they do? Age old question.
Mums love their kids more than any old thing, no matter what the age. Call your mum today if you still can! It'll make her day. x