So many times in life we second guess our decisions. The what-if and should-I have syndromes.
I am sharing booth space in a show this weekend with some maker friends of mine. I am mostly bringing my barnwords stuff but also some artwork and old stuff as alot of vendors sell antiques and a lot of people buy antiques here. If you have not checked it, feel free. www.barnwords.com *shameless plug* and it is shameless, because hey. DAY 30.
I am also starting back to my real job on Monday most likely. That means no more lazy morning coffees and making my own schedule. No more extra yoga classes. No more Caramel Inferno lattes mid day or mid week. (this one involves a drive) No more hours reading WADS at many different times of the day and night. (hey perfect timing) No more winter weirdness. This has been a pretty weird winter for me. Between the 90 year old's (my mum) issues and my own issues and my husband's issues and my kids issues I have been preoccupied to say the least. I haven't made nearly as much art as I normally do in my off season. I won't let myself feel too bad about that though. No point in second guessing what I did and didn't accomplish, including commiting to a show the last two free days I have before work. I will just enjoy it and make a million dollars. yeah!
For the last few winters, I have sort of referred to them, in my mind, in some particular way, like one was the Winter of drawing my words (literally) and taking naps. One was the Winter of starting a small (real small) business called barnwords. One was the Winter of driving to the city a lot. One was the Winter of walking and Sunday fun. This winter was the Winter of expensive coffees and hospital trips and WAD squad love.
I can't wait until I have the Winter of cleaning out everything and making loads of money selling signs. Or the Winter of traveling the world.
I am changing. I am becoming less fearful and less concerned about menial things. I am making the conscious effort to stop comparing. I have no idea if keeping this 30 day commitment had anything to do with this or not, but I know it has helped me. I'm already contemplating what I can do for the whole month of April to better myself. Improve my lot in life.
I feel as if I am always struggling just a bit. Yearning for something undefinable or mysterious that is out of my reach.
If I had all the money I needed, that is- to be debt-free AND to pay all my kids' student loans off... wonder what I would do. I think I would travel. Travel might be the thing I really need.
I will no doubt think of you and your lives throughout the coming months. Hope you receive my good energy at those moments.
see ya later, writing friends. x #500wordsaday