Today I am feeling out of sorts. When my kids were small we used to say "out of sorts" to describe all sort of maladies. My situation feels so stupid to be honest, because it feels unjustified somehow. Being a seaonally affected person, I am not surprised to feel shitty (without obvious reason) in the January-February months. But honestly, things aren't going too badly.
I decided,rather impulsively to try this '500 words a day' thingy I saw posted on a site I enjoy called 'kale and cigarettes'. (Who wouldn't love that name?) So, as I do not fancy myself a "writer", it should be interesting. I figure I'll post it (for now anyway) to my blog here on the barnwords website since that way no one will see it. HA.
I've been really wondering about happiness lately. I mean I think I am a pretty happy person, but whenever I read incredibly thoughtful and well articulated articles (posts,quotes, tiny books given as xmas gifts...) I start to question it. AM I happy? I'm certainly not doing everything I wish to. Are other people happy? Social media gives such a false front to everyones lives that I never really know who is genuinely happy and who is miserable. Based on posts my 'friends' and friends make... who knows?
So, is happiness just feeling content with our lives? Is it the wonderful feeling you get when you help someone -really help them? Is it just a fluctuating state of mind? We all strive for it. "I just want to be happy" "do what makes you happy" One thing I would argue with forever is that statement about money , you know the one. I believe that YES money can buy my happiness. If I was debt-free or NEVER worried about how to pay this or that, (should i buy it? should I return it?) I think I could be SO MUCH FREAKING HAPPIER. I don't even care too much about buying crap, believe me, I mostly would want a garage (winter scraping the car/summer in the blazing hot sun...) We used to have one. THAT'S an entire story in itself. and let's not even talk about my kids student loan debt. That is one of the most depressing things I think about. So. I want to feel good and healthy and energetic and satisfied and pain-free and not in the giant debt-hole and then I guess I will be so happy. I started practicing yoga a couple of years ago. I do find that I feel a state of happiness after an hour plus of a yoga session. I also feel happiness when my kids achieve something amazing, (lucky me-I've gotten to experience this multiple times!) I'm generally happy when seeing or being in nature. Cliche as that may sound, the unbelievable beauty outside has cheered me often. I feel happy when someone pays me for my art. Reading makes me happy and so do a handful of inspiring people who are my friends.
ohhh I forgot my bed. Getting into my bed makes me happy. So maybe I just need to do yoga, go outside, read books and visit my dear friends and go to bed. Wow, solved my problem, I did.
Happiness is a bit of a mystery. Thanks for reading! x #500wordsaday